March 8 2018 | Update

So it’s been a while since my extreme psychotic break. I’ve felt better since then, way better. I’m sure that even as a person, I’ve changed as a result of my experience. I’m still not recovered completely, i’m not even super close to recovering, but I am as I’ve said, way better. I’m currently going to therapy at an Epicenter (Early Psychosis Intervention Center). I’m going to be honest here, I don’t think the method of therapy that I am receiving is helping much. First let me explain what it consists of and what the vision of such therapy that I am receiving. An Epicenter’s mission is to intervene with a person who has suffered a psychotic break as early as possible, both in the current time elapsed since the psychotic break and in age. An Epicenter patient potential candidate should be one who is 25 years of age or younger, and has had their psychotic break from 2 years or less, from the time they are to begin receiving treatment for the devastating psychotic break. So I was a perfect candidate for such thing. I am 20 years of age, and it had been about 8-9 months since my psychotic break had begun. My first visit to the Epicenter, I met with someone who gave me a first evaluation. Asked me some questions regarding my psychotic break. The next week, I had my next appointment. I met my therapist (she aight ma dudes). She let me know about how my time as a patient would look like, for an estimate of 1 year. She explained to me that my treatment would be cognitive behavioral therapy, exclusively (more like only). The first few weeks I took some cognitive exercises which documented my current cognitive abilities at the time. This was in order to be able to compare the initial results to end-of-treatment results after I had been through a 1 year cognitive behavioral therapy treatment. The goal was to have better cognitive abilities. After the first few weeks, I started doing cognitive tasks as my therapy. Ok, so they literally consisted of things like, let me read you a long list of animals, then you repeat them back as best as you can, in the order that I read them. Computer games such as controlling little speedometer needles that should be kept in the middle, but move to the left and right, so you have to use your keyboard to maintain them as close to the middle as possible. There’s levels to it. The speed of the needle movement increases, and the amount of speedometer gauges also increases, and you have to try to control them all simultaneously. Alright, so I guess this can help my cognitive abilities, as would playing with the Google Play NeuroNation app to increase your memory skills and such. Ok, so I guess it’s important to recover cognitive abilities after a psychotic break. . . But you know what’s more important? TO GET TRY TO GET TO THE CAUSE OF THE PSYCHOTIC BREAK, TREAT EMOTIONS, HAVE SUPPORTIVE THERAPY WHERE YOU CAN AIR OUT WHAT YOU FEEL AND HOW YOU FEEL, AND HAVE REAL 1-TO-1 CONVERSATIONS WITH THERAPISTS ABOUT YOUR PSYCHOTIC EPISODE. You’re telling me, that I will not even learn coping skills as part of my treatment? I have talked 0 about my actual psychotic break with my therapist or anyone from the Epicenter. Lord knows what would be of my if I did not have supportive parents that have tremendously helped me through this. My stay at the behavioral health hospital helped me 100 times more than any session I have had at the Epicenter. This Epicenter gets funded by the government, also as part of a research project into early psychosis intervention. All of my results are going to be gathered as data to be crunched by the head Doctor of the Epicenter who is a PhD in order to produce some stats about how my cognitive ability has bettered after playing some NeuroNation video-games on a computer for every session of therapy that I have. I honestly do not see myself owing basically nothing of my mental health recovery to the therapy that I am receiving at the Epicenter. People who go through psychotic breaks need understanding and love. Real support. Genuine help. This is what has helped me recover. Real love has helped me so much in my recovery. Creating true relationships with others is what someone with psychosis needs. Someone with psychosis needs unchanging will of help from someone who truly wants to help, someone with who the person who is going through hell can vent out their thoughts and issues COMPLETELY with. This is what recovers a psychosis.


On another note, my girlfriend broke up with me. I’m not quite sure why, as I did not get a very clear reason as to why, but I hope she is doing well. She definitely helped me through my hard times with mental illness. I did meet her at the behavioral health hospital so . . . she understood me and I understood her.

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